"I would like to state, for the record, that I did not sign on for more than one baby."
Be glad you only have two, instead of the three that the basket usually signifies.
"I don't even have any help!"
Sure you do, you have your mother and your sister.
Bubbie: *promptly wishes to hire a babysitter and go out on the town*
Last time on the Sh*thouse ISBI, Bubbie became our new heir and promptly got to work on her LTW, Golddigger. She met, married, woohooed, and drowned Jessie Clark all in whirlwind succession. Not only did she pull off her LTW, but she also managed to break up Jessie's marriage and kill his wife in the process. What can I say, the girl's good.
"I can't believe you made me give the life insurance money back."
Go home!
Here's the newest Hogglits.
I'm only just now realizing that they are both slobs (both of them got rolled traits). Great. Bubbie sort of manages to keep on top of everything, but now that Taylor and Pepto are gone, with two Pigpens to take their places, the house is really going to go to hell once these guys are kids.
The dice determined that yellow is the color of the third generation. Their names are fairly obvious, but just in case, they are named after...........
and..
"What the hell happened to this place? It's all pee colored!"
"See! Blends right in."
Not enough. And she's going to have to go to work like this.
"Heh-heh. I'm the reason she peed herself, too."
That night...
"Yay. It's my birthday."
Bubbie would've thrown a party for you, PP, but she's a little busy.
Bubbie: "No I would not have. I hate parties."
Shhhhhhhhh
She now has 'star quality'.
"Whatever the hell that means."
I think this whole family ran out of fucks halfway through Sky's reign.
"Yeah, if you find a stray one somewhere, toss it this way."
Okay.
"Come on, it was kind of fun the first time. I'll pick someone cuter this time so I'm not so grossed out in bed. And you can give me Dexter Bear as a wedding present!!"
Hey, I just saw that cosplay is an option! This could be fun!
"I'll kill you. I will reach through that screen and kill you dead."
Blahblahblah
I've never had a mascot in the family before, I guess the cosplay is something one can inherit. Lucky you, Bubs!!
'Hello, Biggie! I'm your big sister, PP."
"Let's go for a little walk, Biggie."
"That's right little guy, stay right there."
"Ahhhh, breakfast is served!"
"W is for WAHHHHHH!!!!!"
"And Q is for quiet, you little chickadee. NO SCREAMING!!"
It's their birthday anyway.
"Well? Am I cute?"
Yeah you are!
"Good, now turn the tv on."
"Trust me, Biggie, you're better off out here."
Aww, you're cute too!
"I heard there's a tv?"
"Okay, I'm tired, so that means Biggie needs to go to bed. Why can't I get in Bubbie's room?"
I locked the door. Nip that shit right in the bud.
"So......what? I just stand here?"
Apparently.
"Why Biddie cwying?"
"Don't worry about Biggie, Sun. Your Auntie's with him."
"NO MORE XYLOPHONE! I'm tired of all the noise around here!"
"But, the tv is off."
"Also, you need to move back a little more. I can't steal your candy from where you're sitting."
Biggie and PP are going to be best buds. I can tell.
"Yaaaasssssss! My shitty mac-n-cheese will ruin dinner for EVERYONE!"
She still has a few years to learn to mastermind plots with a little more finesse.
Hold on, ELENA Hoggle? How the heck are you related? We're only three generations in and no one is old enough to have produced what is now an adult child.
Ohhhhhhhhh! I changed her last name back to Clark.
Bubbie is .............. coping.
"*grumble grumble* When do I get to hire a babysitter and get OUT of here??"
""Move it, Biggie, you're bwocking da toy!!"
"Mama hate house?"
"Mama needs to get OUT. This place is a pit. Nobody cleans but me!"
You know, you could do homework at home, then when you're done you could, oh I don't know, help your sister out a little bit.
"Nah, I'm busy."
"And I keep making lots of mistakes. This is going to take time. LOTS of time. I'm gonna be here a good, long while."
Wait, it's getting twilighty but the sky, it's still bright and the lighting isn't all grey and depressing. NEW LIGHTING MOD SPAM!!
So.Much.Better.
You can find the mod here at Mod The Sims. I'm using the "lighter water brighter night blue", "lower bloom", and "Aurora weather regular" settings. The night sky and stars (which I may get pics of later) are courtesy of Burnt Waffles.
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Still not going home, eh?
"I'm NOT tired! Plus, Spencer needs me."
"It's true. I can't play football by myself."
Of course the old lady is going to keep the teenager out after curfew.
"Pfft. Don't cops have anything better to do?"
Not in The Sims.
"Hmmmm. I was peacefully sleeping, but now I feel like reaming someone out."
"What are you doing out this late, Pinky? You need a good night's sleep to be ready for school!"
"To be ready for school? Is that the best you've got? Like I give a shit! I don't need to go to school to run the local warehouse."
"You want to run the local warehouse when you grow up? Come on, Pinky. You can reach higher than that!"
"And what was your life's dream, Mother?"
".................. that's neither here nor there."
"Oh I believe is was in City Hall, the theater, your bed, the........."
"GO TO BED!"
Later that night,
*sigh* I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Bubbie!! Wake up!!
Of course. The tv may be shitty but it's still one of the more expensive things they own.
"The fuck is this guy?"
He's a burglar, call the cops.
"Oh JFC, I cannot believe I had to get up for this."
"YEAH I just landed myself a cheap ass tv!"
"Hey, there's a burglar in my house. Do you think y'all could do something? ............... Thanks."
"There's gotta be something good in here!"
"Holy shit, it's absolutely disgusting in here!"
Not disgusting enough.
"EW!! You're stealing our tub? Haven't you looked at it? Gross!!"
Well, well, look who showed.
"Heh heh, cop titties are the BEST!!"
"I don't suppose you're going to go quietly, sir?"
"Tittays!!!!!"
"I do not make enough money for this garbage!"
How's it going?
"Just fine. For the burglar."
Apparently Aurora Skies cops and Moonlight Falls cops went to the same academy.
Just when I get everyone back to bed, replace the tv and the tub, and think it's safe to go back in the water.................
We're getting robbed twice in one night? Are you fucking kidding me??
"Well I had to come back and get the nice, new, clean tub. That other one was beyond nasty."
You KNEW that when you stole it, you assface!!
"Again? Maybe if I sound really scared they'll send someone competent this time."
"oh my god, please help me, there's, like, a burglar in my house! please don't let him kill me!"
"Yes!! It's mine! It's all MINE!!"
"You are a completely demented FREAK."
"Yeah but I'm a demented freak with your nice, new tub! Later bitch!!"
"Um, dispatch told me that there's a robbery in progress here? I don't see a burglar. Why did they send me back to the house I just left?"
The burglar just left. He's in the Big Lemon right there, if you get back in your car you might be able to catch him!
"Ahhhhhh, time to get up!"
"I feel like I've missed some excitement. Who is Mama yelling at?"
Be glad you slept through it kid. You and your sister are the only ones who got any decent sleep last night.
"Zzzzzzzzzz I swear if that motherfucker comes back I'm gonna drown his ass zzzzzzzzzzzzzZ"
You don't want to eat with your mother?
"Have you actually watched, and listened to, that woman eat? A pair of pigs fucking each other's brains out is more appetizing. Cake's gone, by the way."
"Soon, my pretties! Soon I will be grown, and then we will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!"
Flys:
Sky makes it to the top of her career. It won't count for points since she's a former TH, but still. Kudos!!
Pepto gets a girlfriend, the daughter of my simself. I'd think twice before marrying into that family, Pep.
"Guess what, Bubs? I got promoted! I'm a Power Broker!!"
"What? Why? Are you fucking kidding me? GETTHEHELLOUT!!"
"Unclench sweetie. I used to change your diapers, remember?"
"NO!!!"
"What do you mean I can't yell at her? SHE WALKED IN ON ME WITHOUT EVEN KNOCKING!!"
She's teaching Biggie to walk, completely of her own free will.
"SO?"
Let me put this way, if she gets interrupted and stops, you have to do it.
"Oh. Okay then."
Meanwhile, at the door...
"Gawd she is so hot. BE COOL, TRENT!! Just be fucking cool for once. Damn."
Trent came home from school with PP.
"It's not like I invited him, he followed me home like a stray dog."
You're not even going to sit with him?
"EW no."
Wow! This never happens autonomously for me. Usually something interrupts the adult sim. WTG, Sky!
"I love my little grandchildren!"
And where was Biggie's mother when this important milestone went down?
At The Grind.
"I LOVE this game!!"
The best part is she got the happiness points for "Teach Big Bird To Walk" anyway.
"This parenting shit is a BREEZE!"
Okay, Sky. He's learned to walk, you can stop now.
"But practice makes perfect!"
*sigh*
Kraig (yes, with a K) Wong-Berge: "ACK! My thought! This pink lady stole my thought!! GIVE IT BACK!!"
"You know, maybe it is time to go home."
"So, um, Pinky ............ what ............ what did you think of the basketball video we watched in physics today? Pretty dope, huh?"
"I don't know, I was busy. And nobody says 'dope' anymore, Trent."
"Oh. Heh-heh. Okay. Uh..........well............it......it was pretty cool. See, these guys are on the top of a really big dam, and they throw the basketball off the dam, only instead of just tossing it, they give it a good spin, and on the way down it kind of fl..........."
"LOL!! OHMYGOD! Wait, the robots aren't screaming. Where is that coming from? Who's screaming??"
"Um, I think it's your baby sister. I think she's hungry."
"Ugh. She's NOT my sister, she's my niece."
"Oh. Uh, maybe somebody should feed her."
"Really, Trent? That's what you do with a screaming toddler? Fucking brilliant. SO GLAD you followed me home after school. Whatever the hell would we do without you?"
"M...maybe I should just go."
"Maybe you should."
I don't know how she has any friends.
At least one of the spares is happy, I assume.
Next day dawns bright and cheery for Bubbie.
"Oh for fuck's sake, Sunny! I can't get Biggie out of the crib with you sitting Right Fucking There!!"
"Sucks to be you, Mom."
"Dammit, Pinky! I'm starving! Move it so I can get into the fridge!"
"Wah Wah Wah. Wait ten minutes and you'll have waffles, you big baby."
"Are you freakin' kidding? You burn EVERYTHING, even with a cooking skill of 3!"
"You know what bitch? Starve for all I care. My waffles are gonna be awesome, and all for me!"
"MOTHERFUCKER!! I'm so hungry!!"
She really does burn everything. You may want to stick with autumn salad, kiddo.
"SHUT UP!!"
"I'm so excited, Bubbie! It's the twins' birthday! You remembered to invite your brother to the party, right?"
"Shit."
"Can't you do it, Mom? Parties are not really my thing, what with all the stupid people and all."
"Oh come ON Bubbie! They are your children, the least you can do is throw them a birthday party."
"Well YOU are their grandmother, it wouldn't kill you to do something for them, too!"
"I take care of them while you are gallivanting around town every evening! And I taught Biggie to walk!"
"Fine!! I'll throw them a damn party, but I'm gonna invite who I want to invite!!"
That afternoon,
"Hey Bub! Nice to see you!"
"Um, what are you doing here? I didn't invite you."
"I was on Mom's list, she said the two of you split the invites so you wouldn't have to make all the phone calls."
"I see. Isn't that nice."
"So, Deidra, when are you and Pepto getting married?"
"Soon. We were going to try to throw a party, but we're a little crunched for time, so City Hall is starting to look good."
"What's your hurry?"
"I'm pregnant."
".......................................... Alrighty then."
Coming up, what do these guys look like as kids? Will Bubbie get her marriage wish? Will there be more children or is one of these guys going to be the next TH? Find out next chapter.
Points
Rolled traits for the twins: +10
Two children born: +2
Twins: +5
Pee fail: -5
Previous Score: +63
Current Score: +75
