What are you doing?
"Hold on, hold on, I got this!"
"Marry me, Taylor!"
"Oh my god, really? Yes!!"
She did wish to get married, and Pepto's dad keeps blowing her off, so Taylor wins by default.
They had a quickie right there in the living room. And then something I didn't expect happened.
Immediately after the wedding and move-in, Taylor had his birthday. Not entirely out of the ordinary.
Then I read the pop-up. Elder? He's an elder already?
"SWEET! I get my marriage wish AND I don't have to put up with him for all that long!"
So romantic.
I should have known. Looking back on the pics, he's got the telltale adult wrinkles. Oh well. At least he can still pass his dna along.
Here's his stats. His LTW is Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law. Not happening as a non-torchholder, buddy. Sorry. And sure enough, there's that full lifestage bar.
And here's what he actually looks like, post makeover. I kept most of his original clothes, just recolored them. I think he's cute.
After his birthday, Taylor and Sky whoohooed, then Sky trapped Taylor in the bedroom by having her adult birthday.
"Really? I don't even get a birthday to myself?"
Sorry dude.
"Oh come on! How am I supposed to unclog the toilet with that gross, old guy in there?"
Sky calls the repairsim about once a day, sometimes twice. All the shitty plumbing/appliances are starting to show their age and break with annoying regularity.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Taylor, your dad. Remember?"
"No you're not. You've got gray hair and a beard. Carrot guy had blondish hair and no beard."
"I had my birthday, I'm an elder now."
"Oh. Okay."
"No offense, Taylor, but how long are you staying?"
"I live here now, your mother and I got married. Isn't that great? Now I can see you all the time!"
"Wait, you LIVE here now? As in .... in this house.....with us......all the time?"
"Yup. I'm excited to be here!"
"Sigh. Maybe I will start sleeping on the porch. Nobody tells me anything around here."
"Look, Bubbie! The Llamas scored! They're gonna win this one, I just know it!!"
"I may even live on the porch."
For someone who is "easily impressed", Bubbie sure doesn't act like it.
Taylor continues to ingratiate himself with his daughter.
"Oops, sorry! I just needed to use the toilet!"
Bubbie: *has to settle into the tub before the action will cancel*
"Is she gone?"
No, she's in the tub, about to get out.
"Thanks good lookin'! I'll be leaving then."
Oh good lord.
"What is WRONG with him?"
Oh cut him some slack, he just got here.
"He's an IDIOT!!"
That is the name of the game.
Taylor's actually a pretty decent guy, all things considered. He pays a lot of attention to the kids, even Pepto, who's not technically his.
And he's my first sim who loves to take selfies. I'm wondering if it's a mascot/jock thing.
"Okay, I WAS going to go to school, but I've decided that I need to use the toilet more."
Oh hell no, kid! Your dad is taking a bath, you'll pee yourself.
"Bubbie, they have bathrooms at school. No one is buying this 'I can't go to school, I have to pee!' crap. So get going!"
"Fine. Hmph. You better hope I don't get halfway there and have to stop to wet my pants."
I was legit nervous that she was gonna do just that. It took Sky so long to get out there that Bub missed the bus and had to ride her bike to school. She did make it, thankfully.
Pepto had his birthday while Bubbie was at school.
"*Derp* I like to stay up all night! *Derp*"
Awesome, a night owl. The perfect trait for an ISBI sim who has to be at school in the morning.
And yes, there is a bed on the porch. One or the other of the kids sleep in it.
"Anything there?"
"*slurp* Nope, nobody here! *slurp*"
"Whelp, no sleep for me!"
Pepto always checks for monsters under the bed. Bubble never does. This, combined with his night owl trait I'm sure, means that he often doesn't go to bed right away, even if he's tired.
It's especially problematic when Taylor decides to be an asshole and sleep not in his own bed with Sky, but in a kid bed.
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz ... so comfy, no monsters under this bed ..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzZ"
I thought Pepto might sleep with Sky, their friendship is more than high enough, but he didn't.
"This place needs a good cleaning anyway."
"Zzzzzzzzz .... sucker .....zzzzzzzzzzzZ"
"Man, I am SO tired!!"
He cleaned the entire house.
And then napped on the couch. Good thing it's a weekend and he doesn't have school.
Cause if he had, he might have gone, then he would have missed out on his parents boinking while he slept in the newly vacated bed. Keep it classy, guys!
"Zzzzzzz ....... This house is crap ....... zzzzzzzzzzZ"
That is the general theme.
Bubbie gets a pool party for her birthday. I may have to look into a lighting mod, it's always so dark in AS.
"Sometime today would be nice, sis. I gotta shower!"
"I, inexplicably, wish to copy my little brother."
"Wait, really? Why would you want to do that?"
"I want to stay up too late and miss school in the morning, too."
*sigh*
Hi Twallan! Nice of you to stop by.
"Sky invited me, and I decided to just come on over instead of being a dick and cancelling."
Very big of you.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Twallan, Sky's friend."
"Oh, do you want to come in?"
"No thanks, I'm just fine playing chess on the porch by myself and not interacting with anyone at all, especially my son."
"Ooooookay."
Meanwhile, Bubbie's parents continue to be problematic.
"Guys, I really need to pee. We have a bedroom you know! You're making me glitch!!"
"You're right honey, we should move it to the bedroom."
"I am going to KILL these people!"
No you won't, you love them!
You even made a heart-shaped pee puddle.
"You are no help at all."
Twallan finally found his way inside and had a chat with Pepto.
Sky: "Oh, maybe my sweet boy will get to know his father after all!"
"So, your mom tells me that you like to stay up late and clean the house."
"You haven't seen this place on an average day, dude. Trust me, you wouldn't be able to sleep either."
"I definitely wouldn't. My house is absolutely spotless."
"Can I come live with you?"
"That's up to the simgod."
Hell no.
"Sorry kid, I'm afraid not."
Taylor clearly holds no ill will as he invited Twallan for a game of catch.
While Sky invited him for a game of 'Let's Fuck With My Marriage.'
"I forgot how cute you are, Twall!"
"Um, your husband is right here."
"Yeah, he is, isn't he? Honey, could you please find something else to do?"
"Sure thing!"
"Hey Twallan, can I come see your nice, clean house?"
"Uh, not tonight. Let's play some more ball."
LOL! Taylor was completely unfazed by Sky's flirting, even though he was right there. He is flirty himself, so maybe he gets it.
They even woohooed after Twallan left.
"You throw that football so sexy, honey!"
"You're sexy as hell, too, sweetie! Even if you are hairier than a silver-back gorilla."
What?
No, seriously, WHAT??
"I think it's them pregnancy hormones."
Yeah, there's
Like father, like daughter.
Next day Pepto had his birthday. I'm not sure who the kid in the suit is, some friend of either Bubbie or Pepto's probably.
"I wish my Dad would come to my party."
"That's an awful lot of noise coming from the other part of the porch. Maybe I should investigate."
Maybe you should, you moron.
"At least I'll be able to kiss ass all the way to the top."
He rolled "schmoozer" for his trait.
Next day everyone made it out the door to school. I was at the house, keeping an eye on Taylor, when...
Pepto beamed home. I'd never seen this happen before. Usually they take a cab home if they decide to skip school. I clicked over to Bubbie to see if she was actually at school, and she wasn't.
Aurora Skies, we have a problem. Bubbie finally made it into school with about 10 minutes left in the school day. I put a second school in town, we'll see if that helps.
"Oh shit, I think the baby is coming."
"Baby? You can't have the baby right now! I really have to pee!"
"Tay, I don't care what you do, just get out of my way, please."
*sigh*
At least he won't be dirty at the hospital.
"I am about to break the tub, though."
Of course.
Meet Pinky Pie Hoggle, named for...
Our Pinky is evil and athletic. I sense an emperor of evil in our future.
A really cute Emperor of Evil.
And we're back to this again. At least now we have a few sims who will clean.
PP: Is blissfully unbothered
Taylor is just as attentive to PP as he was to the older two.
"I AM supercute!"
True, too bad you're way too young to be heir.
"WAAAT?"
"Um, honey, shouldn't we wait until Pepto has woken up and left the room?"
"Nah, why should we do that?"
"He's sound asleep anyway."
"No, Taylor, I do not know why the repair guy is still here, watching tv. Maybe he's here so often he feels at home?"
Jeremey the repairsim really likes to hang out.
When he's not watching tv, he's reading on the porch.
Or sleeping in the kids' bed. I can't even get mad. The guy practically lives here.
The next day is worth noting for a couple of reasons. One, Sky goes back to work for the first time Since Pepto was a kid.
"You have no idea how happy I am to be here today."
"That's great, lady. I don't even know who you are."
Second,
Oh great.
While I didn't actually see what happened, I'm theorizing that one of the teens (I think it was Bubbie because she went to school hungry) started to make waffles, then dropped it out of their queue when the bus came.
And there's no alarm, and Sky is at work.
"OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!"
No you're not.
"Wait, my shift isn't over yet!"
You need to go right home, the kitchen's on fire.
"Seriously? Taylor is home, have him take care of it!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Not an option, Sky.
"OH FFS!!"
PP is completely unbothered.
"Ahhhh, the warm fire reminds of my home and final resting place."
"Hello, fire department? One of my dumb ass kids tried to make waffles and now my kitchen's on fire........................NO I DON'T HAVE AN ALARM!........................YES I KNOW THAT! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE!!"
"Man, people are so STUPID."
The fire department was as much help as it always is.
"Sorry ma'am, I can't quite reach the fire. Hopefully it'll put itself out."
"OH MY GOD YOU'RE EVEN MORE STUPID THAN I THOUGHT!!"
"Hey! Me-clone! Do you think you could put this fire out?"
"Nah, man. I'm every bit as useless as you!"
"Well Ma'am, the fire's out. Glad we could be of service. Please be a little more careful next time!"
"You are so lucky that the simgod hasn't downloaded the Dexter the Bear mod yet."
"AARGH!! CLONE-ME, WHY IS YOUR FIRETRUCK TOSSING MY FIRETRUCK'S SALAD??"
As if the fire department couldn't get any weirder. I could have gone my whole life without seeing this.
Anyway, the fire was put out, no one died, but we did have to replace the stove and a couple of counters. Bubbie promised to try to do better and not cause so much trouble.
"Um, the mailman is in my way and made me drop 'go to school' out of my queue. And Mom's not here to yell at me."
"Maybe if I clean she won't get too mad."
"Hee-hee! Sissy broke the tub, again!!"
"I'm just gonna casually walk out of here and pretend I didn't see anything."
Remember when I implied that Taylor is a pretty good parent? I take it back.
Awwww, what's the matter PP?
"STARRRRRRVING!!!"
Okay, okay, your mom is at work and your siblings are at school. Let's see what your dad is doing.
"MmmMmmmm, these waffles sure are good!"
Alright, he'll be done soon. Hang in there, PP!
"DAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYY!!!!"
"Gotta clean my dish! Don't want a messy house."
Taylor! Priorities, man!!
"*sniff sniff* Is he coming?"
I'm sure he is, he finished washing his dish.
"EW! Splashback! When can we get a nicer toilet?"
Are you kidding me, Taylor?? Do NOT make me have Sky leave work and come home just because you've forgotten you have a toddler!!
"I use the toilet, I get yelled at. I pee on the floor, I get yelled at. Nothing makes you happy!"
"Where the HELL have you been, old man?!?!"
"What's wrong, Pinky? Do you want your toys? Do you need a snuggle?"
"FEED ME!!!!"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss Mom!"
Sorry to say, kiddo, that your mom is about to become as useless as your dad.
"Are you trying to kill me?"
Coming up, death, marriage, betrayal, more death, birth, a new home, and even more death, as the torch is passed.
Points
Previous Score: +27
Roll a trait for a sim: +20 (once for Bubbie, twice for Pepto, once for PP)
Pee Fails: -10 (Bubbie and Taylor)
Child born: +1 (PP)
Fire: -5
New Total: +33
